That’s right, Hi, hello, my name is Chrissy… the human pacifier.
You know, everyone in the hospital told me that my third child would be my most challenging, or the as different from the first two as possible and I just smiled and nodded my head thinking, “yeah… okay what-ever you say lady!” But they were right. *sigh*
I remember having issues breastfeeding my second son in the beginning, he was a little piranha… shark… beaver? I don’t know, but he felt it necessary to chew on me. Which was okay, yeah it hurt like hell, but he got the job done and was content.
My first son made breastfeeding seem like the easiest thing in the world. I remember them handing him to my after he was born and him latching right on like a little pro. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, but he made me look like I’d been doing this my whole life, and it stayed that way until we weaned him.
Now! My third boy flops and flails around like I’m trying to suffocate him, then growls and complains when I move him, or try to get a better latch, then starts crying like he’s never going to eat again. Then he pushes everything out and refuses to eat during let down, and then he decides to use me as his giant pacifier for as long as I will let him. Every. Single. Time. I’m exhausted.
Do I blame it on his extended stay in the NICU and the ever-ready easy flow of the bottle he received the first week of his life?
Is he not really digging the whole process altogether?
I’m going to stick it out. I’m not a quitter. We’re going to do this.
I know some of you will suggest I visit my local lactation consultant But I met them and I couldn’t get past their judge-y-ness. Always with the “Oh you breastfed before?” “Well teach you the right way now” attitudes. I know it’s not all in my head. And I know your job is all about boobs, but seriously! That does not give you free range to just reach in there and grab mine without even asking.
So no, no lactation consultant for me.
I’m just going to be a human pacifier for a little while longer.